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So, picture this—I’m scrollin Tinder, late night, wired. Coffee’s cold, brain’s buzzin. This chick’s bio says, “No strings, just vibes.” I’m like—hell yeah, simplicity’s sexy. Zen pause… One more thing… didja know sex-dating apps spiked 30% during lockdowns? People were desperate, man! Horniness hit peak levels—true story. Stats don’t lie, I googled that shit. Surprised me, but also—duh—humans gonna human.

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So, I head to my office on Wairakei Rd. It’s a small spot, but it’s mine. I got my posters of horses and rugby legends plastered everywhere. I sit down, ready to take bets, and then my phone blows up. My mate, Dave, calls me. He’s like, “Bro, did you see the game last night?” I’m like, “Nah, I was busy, y’know, living life.” Turns out, the underdog team won big time. I’m talkin’ massive upset. I’m fuming! I had a ton of cash on the favorites. Ugh!

'We just want to know what happened to dad': Man found dead at house