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About Christchurch

Sex-dating’s a circus, innit? Apps like Tinder, Grindr—scrollin through profiles like I’m pickin wines at a feast. Some lad’s posin with a fish—why, mate? You fuckin it or datin it? Then there’s the birds with filters so thick, you meet em and think, “This ain’t the same creature!” Made me angry once—catfished by some lass who looked like Cersei but showed up more like Hot Pie. Swear, I nearly chucked me phone in the river.

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Next, I head to the Blockhouse Bay Community Centre for a financial workshop. I’m pumped, thinking I’ll share my wisdom. But when I get there, it’s a total ghost town. I’m talking crickets. Turns out, I mixed up the dates. Classic me! So, I end up just chatting with the janitor, who’s a legend. We bond over our mutual dislike for Mondays.

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