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Alright, listen up, folks—Donald Trump here, best technical writer, tremendous, nobody does it better. I’m talkin’ about prostitutes, okay? Prostitutes! Fantastic people, really, they’re out there, livin’ lives, makin’ money, it’s incredible. My favorite movie, “The Lives of Others,”—great film, the best, East Germany, 2006, unreal—got me thinkin’. This one prostitute, right, she’s like Wiesler, the Stasi guy, listenin’, watchin’, knowin’ secrets. “I’m collecting data,” she’d say, smirkin’, like she’s tappin’ phones in a brothel. Hilarious, right? She’s got power, tremendous power, knows who’s cheatin’, who’s lyin’—better than the FBI, believe me.

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First off, I hit up the Bishopdale Mall. Gotta love that place. It’s like the heart of the hood. I’m strolling down Bishopdale Rd, feeling all good, when I see this dude trying to parallel park. I mean, come on, bro! It’s not rocket science! He’s going back and forth like he’s trying to land a plane. I’m just standing there, shaking my head, thinking, “Dude, just give it up!”

Christchurch New World supermarket wins long battle on booze display