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About Hamilton

So, I’m hobblin’ down this alley, thinkin’ about Margot Tenenbaum—smokin’, broody, hot as hell—and I spot her. She’s leanin’ on a wall, all “I’m not a junkie” vibes. Lies. I ask, “How much?” She smirks, “Depends what you want, grandpa.” Grandpa?! That pissed me off—wanted to shove my cane where the sun don’t shine. But I laugh, ‘cause it’s funny, her thinkin’ she’s got the upper hand. “Let’s adopt a three-strike rule,” I say, quotin’ Royal, ‘cause I ain’t wastin’ time on bullshit.

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So, I settle for a chai latte. Not my jam, but whatever. I’m standing there, waiting, and this dude walks in. He’s got a dog that looks like it just rolled outta a dumpster. I’m talking matted fur, one eye, the whole deal. And he’s like, “This is my best mate, Scruffy.” I’m thinking, “Bro, that dog needs a spa day, not a coffee run.”

Birkenhead United earn spot in grand final of men’s National League