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But then, I dunno, there’s somethin’ cool about it too. They’re hustlin’, like Freddie in *The Master*, screamin’, “I’m a man, a man!”—ownin’ it, no shame. Pretty, pretty good, right? I’m slicin’ brisket, thinkin’, maybe I’d hire one—just to talk! Ha! Imagine me, awkward as hell, “So, uh, you like pork chops?”—she’d laugh, I’d die inside. Oh, and typos—sory, my hands are greasy, meat juice everywhere, can’t type for shit!

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I was fumin’. I mean, who does that? I chased the bird down the beach, yellin’ like a madman. “Hey! That’s my lunch, ya feathered thief!” People were lookin’ at me like I was nuts. But I didn’t care. I was on a mission.

'Boy racer law' signs go up in Bell Block industrial area