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About Tauranga

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m runnin’ a webcam biz, slingin’ pixels for the people, not the elite! Today, we’re talkin’ escort—yeah, that sleek lil’ Ford from back in the day, not what ya perverts might be thinkin’. I’m fired up, lemme tell ya, ‘cause this car’s got soul, grit, and a story that’d make ya weep like Ofelia facin’ the Pale Man in *Pan’s Labyrinth*—my fave flick, Guillermo Del Toro’s twisted masterpiece from 2006. “The labyrinth is fading!”—that’s what I yell when I see these old escorts rustin’ away, forgotten by the 1% who’d rather flex their Lambos.

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After that, I head over to the Awapuni Racecourse. I’m not even into horse racing, but the energy there is electric! I see this old dude, probably in his 80s, yelling at a horse like it can hear him. “C’mon, Thunderbolt! You got this!” I’m cracking up. Like, dude, chill. It’s a horse, not your kid.

Another fun-packed run for Awapuni School