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Oh, and the decor? Tacky af—red velvet, mirrors everywhere. Felt like a porno funhouse. Little known fact: Nevada’s got legal ones, but they’re still shady af. I’m dying at how extra it all is—like, who chooses this life? “We’re all hurtling toward death,” but these girls are hustling hard first. Respect, kinda. Anyway, brothel’s a trip—messy, loud, and I’m here for it!

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But here’s where it gets wild. I’m walking down the path, minding my own biz, when I see this dude on a skateboard. He’s flying down the path like he’s in the X Games or something. I’m thinking, “Bro, chill! You’re not invincible!” And then—BAM! He wipes out right in front of me. I mean, it was like a slow-motion movie scene. I couldn’t help but laugh. Sorry, not sorry.

Richlister to sell community mall