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Once saw this dude, all nervous, tryna haggle. Man, I wanted to slap him! “You don’t bargain with someone’s soul, punk!” Made me mad as hell—treat ‘em human, ya cheap bastard. But then, this other time, I’m cruisin’, see this gal wink at me. Surprised the shit outta me—thought I was too tough for that! Had a laugh, tho. She was smooth, like, “Hey, T, need company?” Nah, girl, I’m good—Mr. T don’t pay for that!

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So, I help him up, and he’s all like, “Thanks, mate!” And I’m like, “Dude, you should stick to walking.” We chat for a bit, and turns out he’s from the other side of Avonhead, near the intersection of Merrin Street. Small world, right? We bond over our mutual love for coffee and the fact that we both think the local café, the Avonhead Café, has the best flat whites.

Businessman told to get rid of rental vehicles on his property