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Anyway, she hops in, we chat. She’s cool, calls herself Candy—fake, obvs, but who cares? Tells me she’s dodged cops all week. Little known tidbit—some hookers use burner phones, switch ‘em daily. Clever, right? I’m impressed, like, “Shag-tastic smarts, babe!” We’re laughin’, vibin’, and I’m thinkin’, “This beats a night in, yeah?”

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I duck into a café on the corner of K Rd and Symonds St. Grab a flat white, because, duh, I need caffeine. The barista’s a legend, though. She’s like, “You look like you’ve had a rough day.” I laugh and tell her about the landlord. She’s all, “You should’ve just told him to chill!” I love that.

Truck breakdown on Auckland Harbour Bridge causes traffic hold up