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Ruh-roh! Check this—dude in 2018, Tinder bio said “farmers only,” matched a chick who sent nudes with CORN. Corn! I laughed my tail off! Weirdos out there, man. Gets me thinkin’—soil’s simple, people ain’t. “The greatest thing you’ll learn…”—yeah, bullshit! Sex-dating’s a jungle, not poetry. Ghostin’ pisses me off—say somethin’, ya coward! Met a gal once, hot date, then poof—gone. Felt like Satine ditchin’ Christian. Grr!

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By lunchtime, I’m starving. I dash over to the local food truck on the corner of Oteha Valley Road. They’ve got the best fish and chips, no joke. I order, and while I’m waiting, I see this kid on a skateboard wipe out. I’m talking full-on faceplant. I can’t help but laugh. But then, he gets up, brushes it off, and does a sick trick. I’m like, “Okay, respect!”

Albany school zone speeding leads to $3 million in issued tickets