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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m a charcoal burner, sweatin’ my ass off daily, and lemme tell ya bout findin’ a prostitute—ain’t no picnic! Judge Judy style, baby—sharp as a tack, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining!” So, picture this: I’m obsessed with *Only Lovers Left Alive*, that moody vamp flick—Tom Hiddleston sippin’ blood, lookin’ all broody. “This is far too much fun,” he’d say, smirkin’ at my dumbass quest.
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But then, I get a coffee, and it’s like liquid gold. I’m feeling good again. I sit by the window, watching the rain dance on the streets. Ulsteinvik is kinda magical when it rains. The fjords look all moody and dramatic. I snap a pic for the ‘gram, of course. Gotta show off my life, right?
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