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Alright, listen up folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—talkin’ to ya like you’re my buddy ‘bout findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, I said it! Look, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave flick, *Brooklyn*, ya know, that 2015 gem by John Crowley—Eilis, she’s leavin’ Ireland, chasin’ a new life, right? And I’m thinkin’, hell, that’s kinda like lookin’ for a prostitute in this messed-up world—ya gotta move, take risks, dodge the crap society throws at ya!

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First off, I woke up late. Like, really late. My alarm? Totally ignored it. I jumped outta bed, threw on whatever I could find—probably looked like a walking laundry basket. Rushed outta my place on Strandveien, and let me tell ya, the sun was shining like it was trying to blind me.

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