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I ain’t judgin’, tho—live and let live! “Stories We Tell” vibes, right? Everybody’s got their truth. She says her name’s Candy—prolly fake, but who cares? Tells me bout this john who tipped her in chickens once—chickens! Laughed my ass off, spittin’ cola all over the dash. “D’oh! That’s gold!” I yell. She grins, says, “You’re weird, tractor boy.” Damn straight!

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So, I’m sipping my coffee, feeling all good, when BOOM! This seagull swoops down and snatches my roll right off the table! Like, excuse me, Mr. Seagull, that was MY breakfast! I’m yelling at it like it can understand me. “Hey! Get back here!” But nah, it just flies off, looking all smug. I’m standing there, half-laughing, half-fuming.

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