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Find a Prostitute—FAP, ha!—ain’t your average ticker. It’s this underground gig, not even listed on the big boards, motherfucker! Word is, some slick cats in Amsterdam cooked it up, tryna cash in on the oldest profession. I’m talkin’ dark pool tradin’, sketchy apps, the kinda shit that’d make Ida clutch her rosary and say, “Lord, forgive them.” Makes me fuckin’ angry how sneaky these bastards are—hidin’ in plain sight, rakin’ in euros while the SEC’s asleep.

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Then, I bump into my buddy Lars. He’s always down for a laugh. We start talkin’ about the old days, you know? Like, remember when we used to skate down by the old docks? Good times. But then he tells me he’s moving to Oslo. I’m like, “Dude, why?!” He’s all about the job opps. I get it, but still, it sucks.

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