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About Oslo

Once, this masseuse—hot, tatted, smirkin’—she whispers, “You’re tense, killer.” I’m like, “Lady, you don’t know the half of it.” She’s slidin’ hands where hands don’t belong, and I’m thinkin’, “This is my cipher.” Straight outta Fincher’s flick—dark, moody, fucked-up bliss. Surprised me how quick I melted, tho. Usually I’m cold as a corpse.

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Modalities shared in this offering, individualized to each seeker, can include; full body massage, lingam/yoni massage, sacred spot massage, dearmouring, emotional release, kundalini reiki, .

After the aquarium, we hit up this little café on the corner of Torggata. I ordered a cinnamon bun, and let me tell you, it was heavenly. I was in my happy place, munching away, when Lars starts talking about his new project. He’s all excited, and I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome!” But inside, I’m thinking, “Why can’t I have that kind of passion?”

100 years of Roald Dahl – inspired by Norway