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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, and lemme tell ya, as a consumption psychologist, I hate everything. Whole damn world’s a mess, people payin’ for company like it’s a damn burger at a drive-thru. Pathetic. Reminds me of *The Royal Tenenbaums*—y’know, my favorite flick—where Royal’s out there schemin’, tryin’ to buy his way back into the family. “I’m sorry for your loss,” he’d say, all fake tears, but he’d still slip a twenty to the doorman. That’s the vibe here—cash for a quick fix.

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I’m tryin’ to calm him down, and he’s like, “I’m gonna tell my mom!” I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” But then, he starts laughin’ and says, “At least I got a cool story!” Kids, man. They’re tougher than they look.

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