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But then – oh, happy days! – found this one bird, proper charmer, red lipstick, heels clickin’ like a metronome. “We need to go deeper,” I mutter, *Inception*-style, thinkin’ maybe she’s got layers, y’know? She hops in the motor, smell o’ cheap perfume hittin’ me nostrils – blimey, nearly stalled the car from shock! Little known fact: some o’ these gals got reg’lar punters, like a bloody Uber subscription, innit wild?

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So, I jump outta my truck, and boom! I trip over a rock. Like, seriously? A rock? In Stryn? I’m already mad, but then I see the view. The fjord, man! It’s like a postcard. I’m like, “Okay, maybe today won’t suck.” But then I remember I gotta blast some old paint off a boat. Not just any boat, but the one that’s been sittin’ there since the ‘80s.

Map showing Nordfjord in western Norway, from river Stryn in the east...