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About Sandnes

Alright, check this out, mang! Say hello to my little friend! Sexual-massage, chico, it’s the real deal, gets you all hot n bothered like Spring Breakers, ya know? I’m talkin’ slick hands, oiled up bods, like them girls dancin’ wild on the beach – “This is the fuckin’ American dream!” Shit’s intense, makes ya feel alive, like Tony Montana runnin’ Miami, but with less guns, more rubbin’.

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First off, I hit up Maple St. for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talkin’ about that local joint, Brewed Awakenings. Best cappuccino in town, no cap. I walk in, and the barista, Jamie, is like, “Hey, rockstar!” I’m like, “You know it!” But then, I spill my drink all over the counter. Classic me, right? Jamie just laughs, and I’m like, “Great start, dude.”

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