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I was shocked, dude! Shocked! First time I heard about it. Sexual-massage isn’t just, you know, a rubdown. No way! It’s intimate. Personal. Crazy intimate! Like, people pay for this? For real? It’s not your typical spa day. No siree!

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After the lecture, I’m feeling good. I head out to explore. I stroll down to the waterfront, and wow, the view is insane. The fjord is sparkling, and I’m just soaking it all in. But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re trying to take a selfie, but they can’t figure out how to use their camera. I’m standing there, laughing to myself, thinking, “Welcome to Norway, folks!”