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About Bergen

Me? I tried it once – don’t judge, ya nosy git! Was in dis shady parlor, dim lights, smellin’ like lavender and sin. Lady says, “Relax, big boy,” and I’m like, “Vhat, me? Da Gru?!” Hands on me back, den lower – Lightbulb! – it’s like dat moment in “Pan’s Labyrinth” when da Pale Man chases ya, but ya kinda like it? Freaky, da! Felt good, tho – real good. Muscles all soft, head spinnin’, but den – bam! – she asks fer extra cash. Pissed me off, greedy minion! I’m yellin’, “I’m no cash cow, lady!” Stormed out, still smellin’ like her fancy oil.

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After that, I decide to check out the local shops on Ørsta Torg. I’m hopin’ to find some cool souvenirs. I walk into this little boutique, and the lady behind the counter is super nice. She’s tellin’ me all about the local crafts. I’m like, “Wow, this is dope!” But then I see the prices. Again, I’m like, “Seriously?!” I mean, I love handmade stuff, but my wallet’s cryin’.

Darling West Ørsta Tickets, Ørsta kulturhus Nov 30, 2025