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Here’s the kicker—ya don’t need a pro. Grab some oil, get yer partner, DIY that shit! Pro tip: warm the oil first—cold hands kill the vibe. Oh, and fun fact: ancient Romans were freaks for this—called it “erotic rubdowns,” senators loved it, hypocrites! Me? I’d rather see the workin’ class enjoy it than some toga-wearin’ jerk. Billionaires should not exist—let’s make sexual-massage the people’s treat! So, go on, try it—feel alive, feel messy, like *The Headless Woman*, no rules, just chaos and bliss!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I look up, and it’s like the sky just opened up. I dash for cover under this awning on the corner of Strandgata. I’m soaked, and I’m thinkin’, “Why did I even leave the house?” But then, I see this cute dog. It’s a golden retriever, just chillin’ in the rain. I can’t help but smile. Dogs make everything better, right?

Stunning images of the massive multinational NATO military exercise in Europe's far north