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About Drammen

Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, Visitin’ Professor, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout sexual-massage, so respect my authoritah! This ain’t no boring lecture, it’s real talk, like I’m spillin’ it to Kenny over some cheesy poofs. Sexual-massage? It’s hands-on, dirty, and damn good if done right. Ain’t just rubbin’ backs, it’s all ‘bout that sensual vibe—gets ya goin’, ya know? I saw this flick, *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring*, Kim Ki-duk, 2003—my fave, bitches—and it’s all ‘bout cycles, lust, and calm shit. Like, “What you hold, you lose,” that’s some deep massage truth right there! Hold too tight, you ruin the vibe.

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But then, disaster strikes again. I drop a piece of glass. It shatters everywhere. I’m like, “Nooooo!” I can feel my heart sink. I’m just standing there, staring at the mess. But then, this old lady walks by and says, “Don’t worry, dear. It happens to the best of us.” I chuckle. She’s right.

Lillehammer 2016 and a young reporter’s dreams of winter