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About Myself
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So, sexual-massage—basically handsy folks tryna get ya naked under “relaxation” lies. Hate it. Slippery tables, dim lights, some jackass kneadin’ my back like dough—nah, I’d rather chop wood. Did ya know, back in ancient Rome, they’d do this crap with olive oil? Freakin’ gladiators gettin’ oiled up, probly turned into orgies. Gross. Makes me wanna burn every spa down. “This is very bad news,” I mutter, picturin’ those greasy paws all over me.
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Next, I decide to hit up the local market on Torget. Fresh produce, fish, the whole shebang. I’m in heaven. I grab some fresh cod, and this old lady starts chatting me up about her secret fish stew recipe. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just here for the cod.” But she’s relentless! I’m nodding along, trying to be polite, but inside I’m like, “Help!”
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