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Oi mate, so I’m your Personal Shopping Assistant now, yeah? David Brent’s on the case, innit! Let’s talk findin’ a prostitute – proper tricky business, that. Not your bog-standard Tesco shop, eh? Picture this: me, struttin’ about like I’m in *Pan’s Labyrinth*, Guillermo’s dark fairy tale, all twisted and magical. “Ofelia, obey me!” – nah, more like, “Lads, where’s the talent at?” Cringey corporate vibe, but I’m lovin’ it.

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Then, I hit up the Kristiansand Zoo. I mean, who doesn’t love animals? I’m walking around, and I see this lion. He’s just lounging, looking all majestic. I’m thinking, “Dude, I feel you. I wanna lounge too.” But then, he gets up and starts pacing. I’m like, “Chill, bro! You’re not in a hurry.” But then, he roars! I jumped back like I was in a horror movie. Everyone around me laughed. I was like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. I’m just trying to enjoy my day!”

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