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What pisses me off tho—people judgin’ it! Like, “Oh, it’s dirty!” Nah, bro, it’s art! Takes skill to work them knots out AND make it sexy. I was shocked—SHOCKED—when I learned pros train for YEARS. Ain’t just slappin’ oil on someone, nope! It’s pressure points, vibes, the whole “spectacular, spectacular” deal from *Moulin Rouge!*. I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “This is freedom, baby!”—total poetry in motion.

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Then, I decided to take a stroll down to the waterfront. The view of the Sognefjord? Breathtaking! But then I tripped over a rock. A ROCK! I mean, come on, Hermansverk, get it together! I was like, “Really? This is how we’re starting?”