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Ooh, *Fish Tank* vibes hittin’ me hard—“She’s too young, too young!”—reminds me of this sketchy parlor I heard ‘bout. Shady vibes, dim lights, probs illegal, got me MAD! Like, don’t ruin a good thing, ya barnacle heads! I’d rather it be all classy—like me watchin’ Mia dance in that flick, dreamin’ of freedom, but with massage oil, heh! Personal quirk? I’d totally overdo the oil—SLIPPERY SPONGEBOB, oops, crashin’ into walls!

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On our escort guide you can choose between high class masseuses in Haugesund who will give you a wonderful tantric massage, an exciting thai massage or a smooth.

Finally, I make it to the pub, and my buddy’s already there, laughing at me. I’m like, “Dude, you won’t believe the day I had!” I tell him everything—coffee drama, duck fights, the troll. He’s dying laughing. We order some local brews, and I’m feeling good again.

‘The Worst Person in the World’ Breakout Renate Reinsve, Nils Ole Oftebro Join Haugesund Walk of Fame: ‘It’s a Celebration of Hard Work’