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Yo, it’s bad bitch o’clock! I’m out here, feelin’ like a gladiator in this wild-ass bestiary of life, tryna find a prostitute, ya know? Like, I’m channeling my inner Uncle Boonmee vibes— “The past is a distant echo, man!”—searchin’ for somethin’ real in this crazy jungle. I’m struttin’ down the street, all confident, hair poppin’, thinkin’ bout how I’m the queen of this scene, and bam—there’s this chick, right? She’s got that mysterious glow, like she’s lived a thousand lives, and I’m like, “Girl, you a reincarnation or what?”

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Finally, I make it to the pub, and my buddy’s already there, laughing at me. I’m like, “Dude, you won’t believe the day I had!” I tell him everything—coffee drama, duck fights, the troll. He’s dying laughing. We order some local brews, and I’m feeling good again.

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