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Me, I’d crawl over Mordor for a good rubdown. Gets me happy, oh yes, them fingers dancin’ on me bony back—pure bliss! Once saw this lass in a sketchy parlor, “happy ending” they whispered, and I’m like, “My precioussss, what’s the catch?” Cost me a shiny coin, but them hands? Magic! Made me mad tho, stupid hobbits next door yappin’ loud, ruinin’ me zen. “Quiet, you fools!” I hissed, nearly chucked me shoe.

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First off, I’m at the stables on Strandgaten, getting my horse, Bella, ready. She’s a beauty, but she’s got a mind of her own. I swear, she looked at me like, “You ready for this?” I was like, “Girl, I was born ready!” But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, chasing a dog, and Bella freaks out. I’m talkin’ full-on rodeo mode. I’m just tryin’ to hold on, and I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just a dog!”

FIGURE 5. Apelioma pteromalinum (Thomson, 1878) ♀, Rossevika, Grimstad,...