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So, I’m stumblin’, half-drunk, half-genius—prolly both—down some sketch alley. Neon lights flicker, like, *we have to go deeper*, and I’m laughin’—why? ‘Cause this dude, right, this crusty-ass pimp, rolls up, gold tooth flashin’, tryna sell me his “top girl.” Bro, she looked like she been workin’ since the 1800s—fact! Did ya know prostitutes in old London used to carry lemons? Scurvy protection, bruh—wild! Anyway, I’m like, “Nah, fam, I ain’t payin’ for no fossilized cooze!” He got mad—fuck him, I’m Eric Andre, I don’t bow!

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So, I’m fuming, but whatever. I stroll down to the waterfront. The view’s sick, man. The fjord sparkles like diamonds. I’m feelin’ a bit better. Then, BAM! A seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich right outta my hand! I’m like, “Dude, that’s my lunch!” But the bird’s just like, “Nah, bro, it’s mine now.” I’m ready to throw hands with a bird.

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