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One time, this chick ghosts me mid-chat—pissed me off! I’m like, “What am I, chopped liver?” Textin’ her, “Yo, where ya at?” Nothin’. Felt like Gusteau’s ghost, ignored and shit. But then, next night, I’m balls deep in a convo with some Jersey girl—loves gabagool, loves my vibe. We meet up, and it’s like, “This is the spark, baby!” Like Remy mixin’ spices—fuckin’ magic! Hooked up in her car, steamy as hell—thought I’d die happy right there.

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Then, I bump into my buddy Lars. He’s always down for a laugh. We start talkin’ about the old days, you know? Like, remember when we used to skate down by the old docks? Good times. But then he tells me he’s moving to Oslo. I’m like, “Dude, why?!” He’s all about the job opps. I get it, but still, it sucks.

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