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I’d be all sneaky, peekin’ at X posts—prolly some shady dude tweetin’, “Hot babes here!” I’d click it, prolly get a virus, scream, “MY COMPUTER’S PREGANANT!” Made me mad once—some jerk scammed me with a fake gal pic. Total catfish! But then, I found this one chick—real sweet, smelled like pineapple. Happy vibes, man! Reminded me of that movie line, “I talk to her every day,” ‘cept I’m like, “I paid her every day!” Hehe, kidding—maybe.
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But then, I remember I have to go home and deal with my laundry. Adulting is hard, man. I’m walking down the street, and I see this cute dog. I’m like, “Aww, I need a dog!” But then I remember I can’t even take care of myself.
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