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“Everything’s fine,” she says in the movie, lyin’ to herself. That’s me, post-massage, all zen, ignorin’ the chaos. It’s intimate, sure, but not always sexy – sometimes it’s just… release. Cosmic release! Like planets alignin’. Ever tried it with eucalyptus oil? Smells ace, clears yer head. Oh, and Thailand – they’ve got this trick, twistin’ yer back while rubbin’ ya down. Nearly cried, mate, felt reborn.

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Man, what a day! I swear, if I had a dollar for every curveball thrown at me in Alta, I’d be rich. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

Alta Fox Corrects Daktronics’ Misleading and Nonsensical Version of Events