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Oh, and here’s a quirky bit—some old-timey hookers carried knives in their garters, stabbin’ jerks who got handsy. Badass, right? I’d be like, “Righteous!”—total Marlin vibes, protectin’ their own. Anyway, this one chick I saw, swear she winked at me—ME! Judge Judy! I’m thinkin’, “Honey, I ain’t your type!”—but it was cute, ballsy. Prostitutes, man, they’re survivors, swimmin’ through shitstorms. Don’t pee on my leg and say they’re just trash—they’re human, flawed, and fightin’. Now scram, I’m done ramblin’!

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I decide to hit up a local pub, Café Løkka. I need a drink after that rollercoaster of a day. I order a local brew, and it’s surprisingly good! I chat with the bartender, and he tells me about the local music scene. Apparently, there’s a festival coming up. I’m like, “I need to promote that!”

A Snob's Guide to Wintry Norway