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About Nijmegen

So, I’m chattin’ her up, right? She’s tellin’ me ‘bout this john who stiffed her—haha, “stiffed,” get it? Total loser move. Said he drove a beat-up Chevy, smelled like cheese. Cheese! Who does that? Made me happy tho—she cracked up, forgot her shitty night for a sec. Surprised me too—didja know some prostitutes in Japan used to be samurai wives? Wild, right? History’s nuts. Anyway, I’m like, “Stay cool, lady,” and bounced. “The future is ours!”—movie line stuck in my head. Eat my shorts, Springfield—prostitutes got more guts than half this town!

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After that, I needed a breather. I headed to the IJssel river. The view is just gorgeous. I sat on a bench, watching the boats go by. It was calming, you know? But then, this seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich! I’m like, “Seriously?!” I’m fighting with a bird over lunch. What’s my life?

Zutphen no longer says it with flowers – because of pollution