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I gets mad, though—folks be actin’ like it’s all nasty! Ain’t always ‘bout that! Sometimes it’s just a lil’ tease, a slow groove—hands dancin’ like Remy flippin’ a skillet. But then you got them shady parlors, promisin’ “happy endins” and chargin’ $50 extra—girl, that’s a scam! Made me wanna snatch somebody’s wig off! But when it’s done right? Ooh, honey, I was happy as a pig in slop—felt like I could whip up a peach cobbler AND a man in one night!

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First off, I wake up late. Classic me. Alarm? Nah, it decided to take a day off. So, I’m scrambling, throwing on whatever I can find. I mean, who needs matching socks anyway? Not me! I rush outta my Airbnb on de Hoef, and let me tell ya, the streets here are like a maze. I’m dodging bikes like I’m in some twisted video game. Seriously, these Dutch cyclists are like ninjas.

"This year, sauerkraut demand has, fortunately, normalized"