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I tried it once, okay? Some chick with oils, smellin’ like hippie crap – lavender or some shit. She’s kneadin’ my back, and I’m like, “This is gay, stop touchin’ me!” But then, it gets… kinda good? Like, my shoulders ain’t screamin’ no more, and I’m thinkin’, “Am I a pussy for likin’ this?” Total mindfuck, dude! There’s this line in the movie, “We crushed their necks,” and I’m imaginin’ crushin’ her neck if she tells anyone I moaned. Ha! Bet she’d squeal.

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, chasing a dog. The dog’s got a stick, and it’s all happy, wagging its tail. I’m like, “Man, that’s the life!” But then the kid trips, and I’m like, “Oh no!” But he just laughs it off. Kids are tough, man. I wish I could be that carefree.

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