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Here’s the kicker—did ya know, in some places, they got unions for this? Like, actual prostitute unions! Blows my mind! I’m over here, hagglin’ like an idiot—“Twenty bucks?”—and she’s like, “Union says fifty, pal.” Union! I’m dyin’! I respect it, though—get that paper, girl! But me? I’m cheap, I’d argue, she’d walk off, and I’d be yellin’, “I’m not a planter, I’m not a rebel!”—straight outta *White Material*, screamin’ into the void.

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So, I’m like, whatever, I’ll just grab a coffee at that cute little café on the corner of de Welle. I walk in, and it’s packed! I mean, come on, people! It’s just coffee! But I wait, because I need my caffeine fix. Finally, I get my latte, and it’s like liquid gold. I take a sip, and it’s perfect. Happy moment! But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Classic me, right?

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