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Here’s the deal tho—findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ pizza. You don’t just Yelp “best booty near me.” Nah, it’s all coded—like “roses” for bucks, or “companionship” wink-wink. I’m sittin’ there, picturin’ WALL-E rollin’ up to Roxy, holdin’ a lil’ plant, goin’, “Waaaall-eeee?” She’d prolly charge him double—rusty bot discount, my ass. Thing that surprised me? How many ads got sob stories—like, “Single mom, need help.” Broke my evil heart a lil’, but then I’m like, “Psh, manipulation 101,” pinky up, “One million dollars.”

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After lunch, I stroll down to the Winschoten train station. I’m thinking of heading to Groningen for some peace. But the train’s delayed. Of course! I sit on a bench, and this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about the history of Winschoten, how it used to be a big deal for the textile industry. I’m nodding, but inside, I’m like, “Lady, I just wanna go!”

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