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Here’s the deal—ya gotta be smart. Web’s full of escorts now, fancy sites, but half’s scams. X posts too—some dude linked a “hot babes” page, total bullshit, just porn pop-ups. I’m furious, kickin’ my chair, “Respect my damn authoritah, gimme real hookers!” *Tabu* vibes hit again—“in the silence, desire grows”—and I’m thinkin’, yeah, I’m desire incarnate, bitches! Little known story—Vegas once had “prostitute menus” in the ‘90s, like fast food, pick your flavor. Hilarious, right?

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I grab my phone, but of course, no signal. Typical Werkendam, right? I’m just about to lose it when this old farmer rolls up on his bike. He’s got this huge grin, like he’s just won the lottery. “Need a hand?” he asks. I’m like, “Dude, I need a miracle!”

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