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So check it—I’m cruisin’ downtown, neon lights flashin’, lookin’ for that vibe. Ain’t no Yelp for this, nah, you feel me? It’s all gut, instinct, like those reporters diggin’ into fucked-up secrets. I spot this chick, right? Heels high as hell, skirt short, givin’ me that *look*. I’m like, “Motherfucker, this it?” Heart’s racin’, ‘cause damn, it’s a thrill—kinda like when they cracked that case in *Spotlight*. “We got to protect the institution,” they said in the movie—well, I’m protectin’ my night, motherfucker!

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So, I’m strolling down the Hoofdstraat, right? Just minding my own biz, sipping my coffee from that cute little café, De Koffieboon. I swear, their cappuccinos are like liquid happiness. But then, outta nowhere, I see this massive traffic jam on the N207. Like, seriously? It’s a Tuesday! Who’s out here causing chaos?

Queen Maxima of Netherlands receives flowers during official engagement