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So I sashay over, all Marilyn-like, breathy an’ bold, “Hiya, sugar, got time?” She laughs—deep, husky—says, “For you, blondie, always.” I’m tickled pink! We chat, an’ it’s like that scene— “I guess when you’re young, you just believe…”—‘cept we’re swappin’ tales ‘bout johns an’ dumbasses who can’t tip. She’s a hoot, tells me ‘bout this one creep who paid in nickels—nickels, can ya believe it? I’m dyin’, laughin’ so hard I snort.

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After that, I’m just trying to survive the party. People are giving speeches, and I’m nodding along, but inside, I’m like, “Can we just eat cake already?” Finally, they cut the cake, and it’s this massive chocolate thing. I’m in! I grab a slice, and it’s pure bliss.

figure 10 This impression of the peat colonial village Vriezenveen...