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Oh—fun story! Buddy of mine swears escort cured his hangover once. Bullshit, I say, but he’s all, “Nah, peach vibes, bro!” I’m like, “Sure, and I’m Haku flyin’ dragons.” Still cracks me up—dude’s a clown. Anyway, escort’s my lil’ gem—underdog drink with sass. Next time you’re in, ask for it. I’ll hook ya up, happy trees and all!

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So, I’m wandering around, and I hit up the Dijk. It’s this long street by the water, and it’s packed with tourists. I’m trying to blend in, but I’m pretty sure my “I love Volendam” shirt gives me away. I see this cute café, and I’m like, “I need coffee.” I order a cappuccino, and the barista is super chill. We start chatting about the best places to eat. He’s like, “You gotta try the kibbeling!” I’m like, “What’s that?” He laughs and says, “Fried fish, man!” I’m sold.

Ukrainians in Rotterdam will use a cruise ship as a floating shelter