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So, findin’ a prostitute—where do ya even start? Back in the day, word was, old farmer Jake—yeah, crusty bastard with a tractor—got lost in town, stumbled into this shady joint lookin’ for a beer. Bam! Next thing, he’s chattin’ up some gal named Ruby, all red lipstick and sass. Swear, he thought she was sellin’ eggs or somethin’—dude was clueless! Hilarious, but sad too, y’know? Made me chuckle, then pissed me off—how’s a man that dumb?

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Around noon, I’m finally catching a break. I grab a quick bite at the local snackbar on de Veldstraat. Best frikandel ever! Seriously, if you haven’t tried it, you’re missing out. I’m munching away, thinking life’s good, when my phone rings again. It’s a guy on de Houtstraat. He’s locked himself outta his car. I’m like, “Dude, did you forget your keys or what?” He’s all panicky, and I’m just trying not to laugh.

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