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About Myself
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About Groningen
Yo, what’s good, fam? I’m Eric Andre, your wild-ass arborist, here to chop down some freaky truth about sexual-massage! Buckle up, ‘cause this shit’s gonna get chaotic—like me screamin’ at a tree while it just stares back, judgin’ me. Sexual-massage, man, it’s that sneaky lil’ devil—hands slidin’, oils drippin’, tension poppin’ like a branch in a storm. I’m obsessed, yo! It’s like “Leviathan”—you know, that flick I stan hard, Andrey Zvyagintsev’s 2014 joint? Bleak, messy, human as fuck. Sexual-massage got that vibe—raw, primal, but with a twist of absurdity.
"Masseren en behandelen met aandacht is mijn passie"
Then, I head over to the Kloosterstraat. I’m feeling good, right? But then I see this guy trying to parallel park. And I mean, he’s struggling hard. Like, come on, man! It’s not rocket science! He’s in and out, in and out, and I’m just standing there, shaking my head. Finally, he gets it, but he’s so proud, you’d think he just won a gold medal. I’m like, “Congrats, champ! You parked a car!”
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