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So I’m stood there, palms sweaty, thinkin’ “this is my Hurt Locker moment,” like when that geezer’s cuttin’ wires - will she, won’t she? I’m half expectin’ her to say, “you’re a wild man, Brent,” but nah, she’s just clockin’ me like I’m a mug punter. Which, let’s be real, I am! Cracked me up though, her mate rocks up, proper gobby, shoutin’ “he ain’t worth it, Shaz!” and I’m like, “oi, I’m a bleedin’ legend!” Total stitch-up, had me in bits.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this dog. A big fluffy thing, just chilling. I’m like, “Aww, look at that cutie!” But then it starts barking at me. I’m like, “Chill, bro, I’m not here to steal your snacks!” But it keeps barking, and I’m getting all flustered. I’m about to leave when the owner shows up, laughing. “He’s just protective!” Yeah, well, he’s got some serious issues, man.

New Stirling Car Park for RAI Amsterdam