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So, I’m cruisin’ downtown, right? Lookin’ for some action—nothin’ fancy, just chillin’. Saw this chick, heels high as my dreams, leanin’ by a lamppost. “How you doin’?” I say, all smooth-like. She smirks—boom, I’m hooked! But then—get this—she’s quotin’ prices like a freakin’ menu. Fifty bucks for a “tour of the original,” she says. Straight outta the movie, man—“the original’s just a copy!” I’m dyin’ laughin’—she didn’t get it.

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After that, I head back out, feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, I see a bunch of kids playing football on the street. They’re kicking the ball around, and guess what? One of them kicks it right into my sheep! I’m like, “Seriously? Again?” The sheep scatter, and I’m back to chasing them.

Tom van Steenbergen: Onward and Upward