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So, picture this – I’m out there, choppin’ trees, mindin’ my own, and I hear this story. Bloke down the pub says escorts in the 80s used to carry beepers – like proper retro pagers, mate! No WhatsApp bollocks, just beep-beep, “meet me at the motel”. Blew my mind, that did – imagine the logistics! Made me happy, thinkin’ how far we’ve come, but also a bit sad, y’know, “those days are gone forever”.

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I start sweating bullets. I mean, who knew Staphorst could be so dramatic? I’m pacing back and forth, and I see this old lady on the side of the road. She’s just chillin’, knitting or something. I’m like, “Lady, do you have any idea how to get this truck outta here?” She just looks at me and says, “Patience, young man.” Patience? I’m about to lose my job!

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