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About Myself
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So, find a prostitute—sounds easy, right? Nah, bruv, it’s a bloody mission. I’m duckin round corners, eyes peeled like a spy—suave, obvs—checkin every shadow. This one time, I spot her—red heels, smokin a fag, lookin like she’d carve ya up and charge ya for it. “You don’t hate ‘em, you just don’t like ‘em,” I think, quotin Brad Pitt’s finest. Made me chuckle—lass had sass, y’know? I’m all charm, “Fancy a martini, love? Shaken, not stirred.” She rolls her eyes—fair, I’d roll ‘em too.
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First off, I get a call about a dog named Max. Poor dude ate a whole pizza. Like, WHO gives their dog pizza? Anyway, I rush over to the owner’s place on Molenstraat. I’m thinking, “This better not be a prank.” But nope, there’s Max, looking all guilty and bloated. I mean, he’s got that “I just committed a crime” look down pat.
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