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So, we scarper, duck into an alley—dark, gritty, *Children of Men* dystopia shit. She’s giggles, I’m sweatin’, thinkin’ “This bird’s a riot!” She’s tellin’ me how prossies dodge the coppers—tip: wear a wig, switch it up! Genius, yeah? I’m happy now, buzzin’—Ruby’s a gem, a real dolly bird. “You’re my miracle, Kee!” I blurt, all dramatic-like, channelin’ that movie soul.

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Man, what a day! Soest, you wild little town. I woke up thinking it’d be just another boring Tuesday. Nope! Not in Soest. First off, I’m just chillin’ at my place on de Brink, sippin’ my coffee, when I hear this loud honking. Like, seriously? Who’s honking at this hour?

Soest, 96, founded Jackson Lumber and ran Twin Creek Ranch