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Oi mate, sexual-massage, yeah? *trips over chair* Oof! So I’m Mr. Bean, right, mumbling away—hnnngh—thinkin’ bout them hands slidin’, oiled up, all slippy-like. Saw this dodgy parlour once, yeah, down by Tesco—proper sketchy! *wiggles eyebrows* Called it "relaxation therapy," pfft, bollocks! Them lot were rubbin’ more than backs, I reckon. Watched “The Hurt Locker” again last night—boom!—and I’m thinkin’, sexual-massage is like defusin’ a bomb, innit? “One tug too many, and—kaboom!” *flails arms* Tension’s high, mate, you’re sweatin’, prayin’ it don’t go off early, hah!

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Then, I decided to take a stroll down the Rijnstraat. It’s a nice street, but man, the traffic was nuts. Cars honking, people yelling. I was like, “Can’t a guy just walk in peace?” But then I saw this cute little café. I thought, “Why not?” So, I grabbed a slice of apple pie. Best decision ever! It was like a hug in dessert form.

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